Letter from afar V - © 2005-2008 Einar Petersen
You are not going to believe this, but it happened to me. I know I'm acting selfishly but I am going to finish it off, I met my man, you know the twin soul.
Matt is a gem, I know that but… truth be told I don't love him. I mean I do love and cherish him, but not like that. You understand what I mean don't you.
But this fellow, I never expected this. I didn't even want to go.
But my boss, you know how persistent he can be. He basically forced me to come. I got pretty loaded up then suddenly I noticed him for real.
His laughter roared across the room and filled me with warmth. I just knew I had to have him. He was so witty and charming, he complemented me in ways I've never been complimented before.
We danced for hours and the sex… the sex was ever so amazing.
He touched every part of me, kissed every nook and cranny.
His tantalizing fingers explored me unlike anyone I've ever experienced.
Is it wrong of me to tell you all this - After all you know Matt so well, he's not likely to take well to any of this and I fear what it may do to him.
Strange isn't it, life I mean, you do something for your career and then love comes into play, like when I did something for love the career really happened. I thought us going separate ways would strengthen our bond, but all that really happened was that it really died a slow and agonizing death.
What must you think of me, am I terrible? Please don't hate me, I know he's your cousin and really dear to you, I will never try to phase him out of my life it's just these last two years we have drifted apart, the spark if there ever was one is gone.
It is not something that has happened suddenly my feelings just turned colder, I was with him more out of duty than anything else and because he made me feel safe.
When I first heard he had been nominated for the expedition I took the chance and applied for a posting here and got it and here I am, torn up inside. Please say you'll help me. Tell me what to do. I am going completely crazy because of this. Matt is so… My heart will shatter if he goes down because of me.
Puff I feel like a giant cubozoan, bizarre, highly poisonous and a predator.
Except from the 24 eyes, the four parallel brains and 60 arseholes, I only got 2 eyes, one brain and one arsehole. But I sure feel like one.
Cubozoans by the way are Box jellyfish, that you can find in one of the reservations back on good old Terra if you're lucky.
Ah well - I hope everything will sort itself out eventually - as long as I can count on you being there for me and Matt…
I need to think some more but I'll write back soon.